September 2010
14 posts
hoping
but i know our filthy hands can wash one another’s
and not one speck will remain.
maybe this weight was a gift
like i had to see what i could lift
…..
and i did it. i can happily say that I DID IT! pretty much without anyone there. i got through it, and maybe just maybe im getting my prize…
THERE IS A GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if this works out, i will honestly believe that life IS fair and that everything happens for a reason and that good things do come around to good people AND that there is a god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! asl;dkfjsla;slkdfj salk;sldkjf =))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) i cant believe it
there IS blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that its gone, its like it wasn’t there at all
i do
miss you. i loved you so much. i wouldve done anything for you. you were everything to me and i was so in love with you. but now we can never be again. im angry at you for ruining us. you were careless with my heart. maybe we werent meant to be. im angry at myself that i let this happen to me. im angry that i found so much good in such a bad person. well now it is crystal clear who you really are....
human beings
are so complex, and so beautiful! if you are 100% honest and comfortable with yourself and dig really deep, im talking REALLY deep in the crevices of your being, you will discover so much! whether its good or bad….
so i was driving my grandma home tonight, and on the 20 min drive back i started thinking. and i discovered my major flaw/issue. im writing it here so i wont forget. ive been...
1
At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes… all you need is one.
i want to see who i really am.
”Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.”
2 steps forward, 5 steps back
sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been and remember the person you were meant to be. the person you wanted to be. the person you ARE.
you know what, NO
im not going to let life trample me like this
im done being sad and negative. im becoming this dark, vengeful person and its not who i am. i need to get back to how i used to be. for the first time i can honestly see myself going down the wrong path and becoming someone that i dont want to be. i know who i want to be, and before all of this i was getting there. this is just a detour. im not going...
worst summer of my life.
lost my boyfriend, 2 best friends, and consequently, part of myself. im now questioning who i am. am i a bad person? am i the cause of all of this? who am i even? and what am i doing. im so confused, i have absolutely no one to talk to. jenna wrote me a long letter saying she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. even my best friend abandons me. stevie abandons me and uses me over and over...
so upset =(
who knew it would be this hard
and who knew id have to do it all on my own
triggers
sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down,
just get back up when it knocks you down.
so many triggers. it could be a song on the radio, a place in pasadena, that triggers a memory, emotions. i cant deny how badly i am hurt by this whole thing. but there is nothing i can do. i cant turn back. i cant take back what he did, and neither can he. and he will never change or learn.
today i...
nada el surfo
i had the blankest year, i saw life turn into a t.v. show
it was totally weird
the person i knew, i didn’t really know
my high school drama was too ridiculous to be true. it was like a soap opera everything was interlinked and fucked up. fucking psycho bitch is best friends with stevie, i start dating him, i dont want him around her. michaels my best friend, stevie doesnt want me hanging...